Embracing Yourself – Embracing Your Life: Getting Away from Validation and the Need to be Validated

“When I accept myself, I am freed from the burden of needing you to accept me.” –Dr. Steve Maraboli

For many years, you’ve been struggling for self-validation. Trying to win mommy or daddy’s approval. You felt empty when someone you know or love doesn’t validate you. You seek other’s love to make you valuable. You wait for others approval, trying to please your friends, family, relatives, significant others for your approval. When people are seeking approval during their adult years, usually comes from their childhood.

If a 3-year’s old child is being neglected or rejected at home. He/She might seek the approval of his/her mommy or daddy. He/She will try to win the attention of his/her parents. When that child grows up, he/she might be seeking validation from other people from work, from friends, from significant others or partners.

Seeking approval is like letting people control your life and not taking responsibility for who you are. It can become anxiety where people will always seek the attention and love they need. Your relationships with your family, friends, partner, and others might affect. You might attract the wrong husband, the wrong friend, and the wrong crowd. Because the searching and seeking you try to find is external. Even you get the success you want, it tends to be nothing because you are seeking outside.

Things that you consider to allow the change flows into your life and let the real dreams become reality.

 

Awareness

Your past cannot be changed anymore but your present is the gift of now. Discovering yourself might be scared sometimes, either you’re not ready or you keep fighting with it. Be aware of the things that happen in your life and have the willingness to change. It might be hard at first but as soon as you get the first step, which is awareness, everything will flow. You are now moving forward to the first step to being present in the moment. Be responsible for your own self.

 

Self-Acceptance

Accepting yourself for some might be hard. Accepting yourself and forgetting the past requires a process. Getting away from any judgment or blame is hard to do especially when you blame yourself for the things that happened in your life.

 

Forgiveness

Forgiveness is given not only to the person who hurt you, the past that hunts you but also to yourself for criticizing ‘You’ for many years. Forgiving yourself is the most precious gift you can give to yourself.

 

Let Go of Your Ego

Let your Ego go. Let go of yourself and allow yourself to step into the divine purpose of God.

 

Love Yourself

Most of us may think loving yourself might be hard and it’s not possible that you can’t do it or I can’t love myself. Learn to love yourself. Let go of the old self and accept the new self. It takes a process but it’s worth it.

 

Do Affirmations

Affirmations work like a miracle. Practice affirming yourself in front of the mirror by saying this: “I love you (state your name), I really do. You are beautiful (state your name). And I forgive you.” This is what Louise Hay is suggesting to all her client. You can check out her book – ‘You Can Heal Your Life’, it might help you.

 

Take Action

Everything will be possible if you take action. You may feel the change at some moment but if you don’t work at changing ‘You’ every day, you might be depressed and think ‘it’s not working for me’. Be positive always and never give up.

 

Give More

Be compassionate to other people. You can give your time, your effort, and a share of your money. You can help someone today. Helping comes in many different forms. It will help you to grow as a person but also increase your love bank.

 

 

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